she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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