So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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