i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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