Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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