You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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