I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
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I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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