You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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