I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
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Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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