What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
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I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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My Sexting was not on an AP level
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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