His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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