problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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