Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize