fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This house was built for laser tag.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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