Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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