i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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