Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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