and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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