On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize