YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize