We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize