I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
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I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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