And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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PS: I just woke up from my shower
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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