Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
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Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize