So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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