It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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