where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
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guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
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Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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