it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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