my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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