Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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