I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize