I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize