Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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