You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
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On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
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This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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