Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
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So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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