Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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