Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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