i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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