you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize