If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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