I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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