can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize