She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
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It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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