You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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