so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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