So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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