i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize