There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize