wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I enjoy the company of your penis
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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