I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
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