she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you had me at cake vodka
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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