I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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